(via solidrockalbatross)
http://shrapnel.megnjay.ca/e/3467/
This is a humorous little list of fake phrases of speech. Some of them sound pretty real, others, not so much. I picked out the ones I liked and added my interpretation of the words of wisdom.
You can only milk a dead cow once. Keep your options open, once you make a decision (to kill the cow) you are stuck with the outcomes (not being able to milk it).
You can’t fill a hat with maybes. A warning against being indecisive and/or against taking unnecessary risks.
An honest man eats soap. An honest man has nothing to eat, and thus, eats soap. I see this one applying to business transactions.
You can’t bend steel with tears. You won’t get anything done unless you go and do it. and/or complaining won’t be of any use.
You’re looking at seven, but you’re eating six. This ones a little weak but, You’re being fooled, possibly by yourself. You think you have one thing but really you have another.
First one shaved means last one buried. Early bird gets the worm I guess? I pictured men clowning around together in the WWI trenches for some reason, or perhaps in the jungles of Vietnam, getting ready for the day.
Let’s run it past Weird Al and see what the parody sounds like. I picture Ted Mosby saying this.
A good friend of mine, an older man, died of a heart attack in his sleep last night while chaperoning a writing conference at Middlebury. He was a talented musician, poet, and carpenter. He was, ultimately, a craftsman, no matter what the tool. He was a wonderful teacher and mentor, and I’m currently in shock at his passing.
Thanks Jesus!
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